Rabid Pants Weasel

Rabid pants weasels seems like a good argument for yoga pants.

And this is it, folks.  End of Line.  The last illustration i did for Nutpunch.  But it is not the end!  No!  Go and like the 1x5 Games Fookbace page to get all the info on upcoming release dates for Nutpunch and other games they have in development!  Tell 'em Willy sent you! 

Blueballs

On the rocks please...

Willy has come the conclusion that blue is better than black and blue.

Brass Balls

Gooooold fingerrrrrr...

Willy uses protection.  Paint me like one of your french girls...

Crane Kick

Mondays...

Gooooooooooaaaaaaaaaallllllll!!!!!!!!!

Is this a Red Card?

Willy always wondered what all the World Cup hoopla was about...

Hey guys, the boys at 1x5 Games put up some pictures of the Nutpunch test deck in action last night!  Go show 'em some love!  Like their page so you can stay up to date on the release of Nutpunch and their other games they have in development.  Poke 'em so they know you care.  Futbook doens't have a "Kick them in the nuts" button yet but i'm sure they are not working on it. 

Elbow Jab

Willy finds out Tom is much smaller and faster
than he appears in the movies.

These are all a series of illustrations for a cardgame developed by 1x5 Games.  Check them out!

Ghost Balls

i feel like there needs to be a Pac Man reference here somewhere.

A defense card.  Along the lines of you can't hit what has become incorporeal.  But i don't think Willy sees it that way.

These are all illustrations for a card game called "Nutpunch."  It's being released by 1x5 Games later this year.  Provided a decent printer can be lined up.  Check them out, they have other games in development too.

the Eunuch

The wind brought winter on its shoulders

but found not fruit to kill with its frost

for the tree had given them to the earth for safe keeping.

(Yuck Fu)

Polar Bear Punch!

Take that stupidly-designed-thing-that's-supposed-to-make-my-life-easier-but-doesn't!!

"Polar Bear Punch." 
This one might be my favorite card, it was certainly a hoot to do. If you're feeling a bit squeamish about the violence of these perhaps you could do what i do. Imagine that Willy is a metaphor for whatever stands against you. (i said, whatever, not, whomever. Willy is not your boss.) But he may be the embodiment of the sin which your boss or spouse or brother or sister or total stranger sins against you. :D He could be poverty or debt or that twenty pounds you still want to lose or child abuse or divorce or hate or politics-as-usual-divorced-of-the-fear-of-Yahweh. Willy could represent your own sin which you hate; he could be the physical representation of something in this world which soon will not be anymore. Evil. In which case, roll up your sleeves, tape your knuckles and put in the mouthguard. Cuz it's time to get punching!

Or he could just be a poor, fat little man who seems to run afoul of every one he meets. What do i know?

Self harm

Stop hitting yourself...
no, seriously, stop.

Willy cries, 'No Joy.'  Then he just cries.  Should we call someone?  The local hospital perhaps?  

Just in case you're just coming across this picture and saying, "What in the seven hells of New Jersey  is going on here??"  Lemme explain.  No.  There is too much.  Lemme sum up.

i was hired to do illustrations for a cardgame.

The cardgame is called, Nutpunch.

The name of the cardgame is self explanatory.  

This is one the defense cards.

No, to the best of my knowledge, the game is played more like War than Twister.  All violence is imaginary.  i hope.

Thunderpunch

Try the chili they said....

In an age of superheroes, it seems only appropriate to have one card that shows what may happen if Powerman or Ironfist were playing Nutpunch. 

Niptwist is not a new kind of dance.

"What is wrong with you?"

This is listed as a defense.  i'm not entirely sure how it defends against someone punching you in the giblets but who am i to argue.  Maybe it works because the attacker is so put off by your display of masochism that it thinks it might become infected if it touches you?  Yeah.  Let's go with that.

the Jewel Thief

snip snip

A brief foray into Hitchcock horror/thriller.

Shrinkage

Do you think she knows about shrinkage?

Maybe i'm just kidding myself, but as i strived to tell an irreverent story, i tried to do it in an honorable way.  Not sure how much i succeeded.  There's no right way to do a wrong thing.  And i'm pretty sure this counts as coarse jesting.  So... i dunno.

Speed Bag

Cue Rocky Theme music...

i live for the moment of dawning realization...

Nuttin' butt taint.

Pull your pants up and hope they miss!

Our first defensive card.  Can't hit what you can't find, i reckon is the idea.

Gonna take a moment to theophilosophize here; y'all are used to me doing that by now and feel free to stop reading if you don't care.  i'm not offended, i just compulsively write about what i think about.  And what i think about, even when i'm drawing Willy get punched in the nuts, is God.

Here's the verse that usually came to mind when i was drawing this stuff...

"Therefore become imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, just as also Christ loved us, and gave himself for us an offering and sacrifice to God for a fragrant smell. But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness, or greediness, must not even be named among you (as is fitting for saints), and obscenity, and foolish talk, or coarse jesting (which are not proper), but rather thanksgiving. For this you know for certain, that every sexually immoral person, or unclean person, or greedy person (who is an idolater), does not have an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience.

Therefore do not be sharers with them, for you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live like children of light (for the fruit of the light is in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is well-pleasing to the Lord. And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather even expose them. For it is shameful even to speak about the things being done by them in secret, but all things exposed by the light are made visible, for everything made visible is light." Eph 5

It's all about not watering down your witness or your soul with things that are harmful AND with things that are just not helpful.  Holiness may not be achievable this side of the rolled back sky but it's still the gold standard of gratitude for what Christ has done and it's a heck of a lot more pleasing to a father when his children are living in thankfulness of his goodness to them than when they are just off willy-nilly (see what i did there) doing whatever fool thing they think will make them happy at the moment.  

i grew up in a Pennsy-germanic family that knew religion as a command.  This is what God has done for you (gospel, they did still have the gospel) so this is what you Must do and Must NOT do, or else.  Heavy on the must not.  i'm not sure how they felt about Jesus turning water to wine that he knew people were going to get drunk on.  i'm fairly certain they would have been more comfortable with the Pharisees outside asking how Jesus ate and drank with sinners, whores and treacherous greedy tax collectors than inside breaking bread and rubbing shoulders with them all.  

That's not a rebuke at all, my heart waffles between pharisaical self-righteousness and wanting to be doing whatever the "sinners" are doing cuz it looks like fun.  Not at Jesus' feet hanging on his every word like Martha's sister Mary or the paraplegic who was dragged there by his friends.  This game and its designs really shined a light on this internal tug-o-war of mine.  i'll probably have more thoughts on that as i go, sorry.

Marble shot

Stay on target...

i don't consider myself a violent person.  i have some tools, vehicles, rocks, stray cats who pissed on my deck who may disagree but i usually reserve my wrath for inanimate objects.  But i grew up amidst violence... on Saturday morning cartoons.  Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Wile E. Coyote, Foghorn Leghorn, Barnyard Dawg, these were my teachers, my companions, my mentors.  Nutpunch is giving me a chance to finally pay them back for the education they gave me in comedy.  :)

Scrambled Eggs

How you like yer eggs?

i had a big list of card titles to choose to illustrate from, some of which were obvious, some not so.  Some i down right didn't want to know what they meant in the context of two guys hurting each other's junk.  Such was this one... 

If you, unlike me, really wanna know, ask the fellas over at 1x5 Games. 

Nut Tap

Knock Knock

Willy must live near a huge oak tree.  

i struggled with this card.  The title was Nuttap.  But trying to render a hand that looked like it was only going to rap upon Willy's tree fruit proved difficult.  i still think it's one of my weakest designs.  

Guess i need to have a brief summary on each of these too:  1x5games, Matt Rowntree and Heath Flor, hired me to illustrate their new card game Nutpunch!  A game which is reputedly simple enough to play while three or four sheets to the wind.  Check them out, they have other games too by far better artists.

Twofer fer Willy's two.

Will was not good at Dodgeball.

The game is called, Nutpunch.  The name of the game... is kinda the only rule.

Two today because whilst i was traveling yesterday, i neglected to update the blog here. 

Meet Willy

This is a guy i like to call Willy.  i've been playing around with Willy now for the last month or so.  (Trust me, the puns only get worse from here on out.  Pull out now if you can't take it. )  (See.)  i'm pleased to announce that i've been working with the pirates Heath Flor and Matt Rowntree, Captain and Cabin boy (i'll let them sort out which is which) of the good ship 1x5 Games to illustrate their card game (kazoo flair introduction please...)

Nutpunch!

Oh my mother will be so proud of her son.

Each day i'll be releasing a new hard hitting image out of the deck so brace yourselves, get the metal mixing bowl out of the cabinet and cover up cuz from here on out, we aim low, hit below the belt, bag prisoners and don't apologize for nuthin' to no one!  ('cept you, mum but you never wanted me to be a starving artist so...)

Please though, check out 1x5 Games, they are serious about their games even when the game isn't serious about itself.  i got to watch the test play of their flagship, Clunkers: an all ages (G-rated, no really!) co-operative, sci-fi board game that uses some amazing art from Shannon Sproule and Jenna Mauro and some little plastic bricks that a lot of us seem to like building with.  It was inspiring to watch!  Adults and kids who didn't know each other when they sat down, suddenly all working together and having a blast and talking like old friends to try and beat this game, which none did of course, (i did tell you that Heath and Matt are pirates) but that didn't stop them all from wanting to take another crack at it!  It was very, very cool!  So quit looking at my Willy and head on over!

just some words looking for some chords

i’m just a tenant

behind on the rent

i’m just a debit

not very well spent

i’m just an employee

whose always late

making you look bad

not pulling my weight

a second hand couch

where you hate to sit

your body or style

neither i fit

And you want to replace me

with something i’m not

and you’d throw me out

but i’m all that you got

so you’re cursing your lot

and having to stand

and you’re crossing me out

as you rework your plans

and you have to stay late

to get the job done

and you do it yourself

you can’t trust anyone

and you hate coming home

hate being confronted

with the labor unending

and the job unwanted

cuz i’m just a lump

at the side of your bed

i’m just the words

that never get said

i’m too far to reach

i’m just out of sight

with your eyes screwed shut

and your arms folded tight

and you hope when you wake

you won’t find me there

and you won’t have hate me

and you won’t have to care