aaand drumrolll.... numbah TWENTY-FOWAH!!

Well, that explains the lack of pants.

twenty-three....

Sagebrush sage say: when one clocks oneself in the temple

by stepping on a rake, one will have great difficulty eating

one's sandwich for at least a week afterward.

Twenty-two...

(BEEP)ing smart phone!!

Where's the (BOOP)ing menu to make a (BEEP)ing

phone call??!!!

twenty-one...

I'll bet when dad gets home there's an email about practice

being cancelled tonight.

Twenty...

Yeah, cuz you always look so funny when i spike it in your face.

Nineteen...

It's all fun and games till the government rolls in the tanks.

Eighteen...

I'm prescribing you some cannabis. Take it with two

friends and a bag of funions.

Seventeen...

"⁴⁹ Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy."

Sixteen...

Veteren's Affairs? Ha! I'd almost rather deal with the

NVA than the VA...Least them we could shoot at!

Fifteen...

When you don't have a life, it's hard to see the humor in it.

Fourteen...

Thirteen

Hon, it's Candyland! Not Risk!

Twelve...

Eleven...