Rejoice! You suck and so do i!

“Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan, in order that it would torment me so that I would not exalt myself.8 Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would depart from me. 9 And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, because the power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore rather I will boast most gladly in my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may reside in me.” (2Cor:12)

It’s usually my policy to not speak of myself too much here.  This is for two reasons, one is that I’m really not that interesting.  Two is because I’d like to be.

I am a small man.  I don’t mean short, though in God’s humor, He chose to make me that too.  I am small in dignity.  I am not confident.  I have no claim to greatness.  I have no claim to honor.  I need constant reassurance, an emotional parasite from a line of emotional parasites.  I am self-absorbed.  I have little to be proud of and often combat this by taking far too much pride in the few gifts I have been given.

Why am I telling you this?  Again, two reasons: “16 Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.” (James 5) and because, like Paul, I am learning to boast in my weaknesses.

Only Christians can do this rationally.  I am easily overwhelmed.  A harsh word, a small opposition to my plans, a little thing that goes wrong and I come apart.  Why would I boast of this?  Because sometimes I overcome!  How?  Did I cease to become a small-minded, self-seeking, easily overwhelmed weakling?  Heck no!  Gimme a few minutes and i'll prove it.  Christ overcame me!  He not only overcame the resistance, He overcame me!  And He does this all the time!  So to boast of my weakness is to simultaneously boast of His greatness!

It has been my pattern, being a self-seeking, small-minded man, to see this as growth.  I’m getting better.  Bah!  Thank the Lord that He keeps knocking me back down!  Otherwise I would be insufferable!  My heart wants to take the victories of Christ in me, the times He overcomes me and my weaknesses, the Power of God in me, for myself!  I am so pathetic I would take credit for what God has done for me and through me!  I am so wretched I would accept the glory for things I had nothing to do with!  Any time I overcome myself, it is not me but Christ in me!  So I will boast in my weaknesses, my lack of education, my lack of resources, my lack of strength and stature, because the Power of God, the Victory of Christ and the Spirit of Love shine through these things!  God is making much of Himself not through our supposed aptitudes but through the very things we most hate about ourselves!

This is a lot of exclamation points.  But this stuff excites me.

Now, I will not boast in my sin.  And these weaknesses have been used as engines of sin in me.  When I try to make people like me.  When I try to take credit for God’s gifts.  When I seek the approval of men and God.  When I become self-righteous.  “34 With those who scorn, he is scornful,

    but to those who are humble, he gives favor.” (Prov 3)

In my weakness, I have allowed sin to power and corrupt even the good in my life.  I have loved only to seek love.  This is not love.  God, who is love, loves those who cannot love Him.  Who cannot benefit Him.  God does not seek us to fill some hole in Himself.  He seeks us to fill a hole in US!  This is love!  Not to be worshiped for how great I am but to give up my greatness, to use my greatness (I’ll get to that) for the good of the other!  That my friends, my brothers and sisters, is Love!  That’s why love isn’t proud, why it doesn’t keep a record of wrongs!  It’s not seeking anything but the good of the other, it’s not considering itself at all. 

I would tell you to love like that but that would be stupid!  You can’t!  You are too weak, I am too weak.  And that’s exactly where we need to be!  Now we’re ready.  Only a Christian is greatest when they come to the end of themselves. 

“And this is the victory which has conquered the world: our faith. 5 Now who is the one who conquers the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” (1John:5)

When we confess our weakness to God and each other, God is free to move!  Why would He bless us if we take credit for His work?  No one's is going to be saved by thinking we're awesome.  You are no one's savior!  We must confess our weaknesses, foremost and first among them being, We cannot save ourselves!  Only by Christ are we saved and redeemed!  We must boast of our failings and flaws before men (we might as well, they see them eventually anyway) so that men will see our good deeds and say, “That’s awesome!  He’s a total jerk so that must be the finger of God!”  The Father and Son are in us.  They have given us the Holy Spirit, the mighty right hand of God!  The greatest power in the universe is in us!  God says to us, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.” (Luke 3)  “‘Child, you are always with me, and everything I have belongs to you.” (Luke 15)  Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.  We are simultaneously worse than we think we are and greater than we can possibly imagine!  God has given you your weakness as well as your gifts!  Stop using them to build tin tiaras, reverse the polarity on the engines of sin and focus on Christ!  Learn from Peter, don’t take your eyes off Him.  The crowns we wear are His gifts!  They are the works God’s Spirit does in us!  Throw them at the Lamb’s feet, rejoice that He has chosen you, do good as He makes you able and worship!  How could you not??

Gal 5:1

Adam's helpless race

Results of sketching during a sermon.

#84

12 Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, (John 12)

^"36 Now one of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he entered into the house of the Pharisee and reclined at the table. ³⁷ And behold, a woman in the town who was a sinner, when she learned that he was dining in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of perfumed oil, ³⁸ and standing behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and was wiping them with the hair of her head and was kissing his feet and anointing them with the perfumed oil. ³⁹ Now when the Pharisee who invited him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what kind of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner.” " (Luke 7)

² (Now it was Mary who anointed the Lord with perfumed oil and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.) (John 11)

⁸ And when the disciples saw it they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? ⁹ For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor!” (Matt 26)

⁴ But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was going to betray him) said, ⁵ “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” ⁶ (Now he said this not because he was concerned about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having the money box, he used to steal what was put into it.)  (John 12)

"⁶ But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you cause trouble for her? She has done a good deed to me. ⁷ For the poor you always have with you, and you can do good for them whenever you want, but you do not always have me. ⁸ She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial. ⁹ And truly I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her." Mark 14

⁴⁰ And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he said, “Teacher, say it.” ⁴¹ “There were two debtors who owed a certain creditor. One owed five hundred denarii and the other fifty.⁴² When they were not able to repay him, he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” ⁴³ Simon answered and said, “I suppose that it is the one to whom he forgave more.” And he said to him, “You have judged correctly.” ⁴⁴ And turning toward the woman, he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered into your house. You did not give me water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.⁴⁵ You did not give me a kiss, but from the time I entered, she has not stopped kissing my feet. ⁴⁶ You did not anoint my head with olive oil, but she anointed my feet with perfumed oil. ⁴⁷ For this reason I tell you, her sins—which were many—have been forgiven, for she loved much. But the one to whom little is forgiven loves little.” ⁴⁸ And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” ⁴⁹ And those who were reclining at the table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” ⁵⁰ And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” (Luke 7)

Gettin' all Pompey up in here!

“5 And Yahweh saw that the evil of humankind was great upon the earth, and every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was always only evil.” (Gen 6)

58 “Call with the throat; you must not keep back!


    lift up your voice like a trumpet,


and declare to my people their rebellion,


    and to the house of Jacob their sins.

2 Yet they seek me day by day,


    and they desire the knowledge of my ways


like a nation that practiced righteousness,


    and had not forsaken the judgment of its God;


they ask me for righteous judgments,


    they desire the closeness of God.

3 ‘Why do we fast, and you do not see it?


    We humiliate our soul, and you do not notice it?’


Look! You find delight on the day of your fast,


    and you oppress all your workers!

4 Look! You fast to quarrel and strife,


    and to strike with a wicked fist.


You shall not fast as you do today,


    to make your voice heard on the height.

5 Is the fast I choose like this,


    a day for humankind to humiliate himself?


To bow his head like a reed,


    and make his bed on sackcloth and ashes;


you call this a fast


    and a day of pleasure to Yahweh?

6 Is this not the fast I choose: to release the bonds of injustice,


    to untie the ropes of the yoke,


and to let the oppressed go free,


    and tear every yoke to pieces?

7 Is it not to break your bread for the hungry?


    You must bring home the poor, the homeless.


When you see the naked, you must cover him,


    and you must not hide yourself from your relatives.

8 Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,


    and your healing shall grow quickly.


And your salvation shall go before you;


    the glory of Yahweh will be your rear guard.

9 Then you shall call, and Yahweh himself will answer.


    You shall cry for help, and he will say, ‘Here I am!’


If you remove from among you the yoke,


    the finger-pointing and evil speech,

10 if you offer your soul to the hungry,


    and you satisfy the appetite of the afflicted,


then your light shall rise in the darkness,


    and your darkness will be like noon.

11 And Yahweh will lead you continually, and satisfy your soul in a barren land,


    and he will strengthen your bones,


and you shall be like a well-watered garden,


    and like a spring of water whose water does not fail.

12 And they shall rebuild ancient ruins from you;


    you shall erect the foundations of many generations,


and you shall be called the bricklayer of the breach,


    the restorer of paths to live in.

13 If you hold your foot back from the Sabbath,


    from doing your affairs on my holy day,


if you call the Sabbath a pleasure,


    the holy day of Yahweh honorable,


if you honor him more than doing your ways,


    than finding your affairs and speaking a word,

14 then you shall take your pleasure in Yahweh,


    and I will make you ride upon the heights of the earth,


    and I will feed you the heritage of Jacob your ancestor,

for the mouth of Yahweh has spoken.” (Is 58)

“17 Therefore the Lord did not rejoice over its young men,


    and he did not have compassion on its orphans and widows,


for everyone was godless and an evildoer,


    and every mouth was speaking folly.” (Is 9)

“6 And we all have become like the unclean,


    and all our deeds of justice like a menstrual cloth,


And we all wither like a leaf,


    and our iniquities take us away like the wind.

7 And there is no one who calls on your name,


    who pulls himself up to keep hold of you,


for you have hidden your face from us,


    and melted us into the hand of our iniquity.” (Is 64)

The original temple was about separation.  God was among His people, yes.  But in order that they might not be destroyed, He hid His glory behind a series of curtains and fences and orders of purification.  The people in the camp knew God was present.  They knew where He was.  But they didn’t see Him. 

Religion is like that.  Temples are like that.  Mystery, pomp, division, laws and rules designed to maintain the order.  Maintain the system.  Keep the god happy. 

Hearts are like that.  We keep the curtains drawn upon the Holy of Holies within us thinking we are keeping God in his box.  We are serving Him.  We are doing good.  We have God in our hearts.

But do we?  I’ve heard that when Pompey sacked Jerusalem he marched right up to the temple, tore back the curtain and said the Latin equivalent of, “Pfft.”  Ezekiel could have told him what he’d find, he’d seen God leave more than four hundred years earlier.  I encourage you today, to be Pompey in your own heart.  Go deep.  Tear back the curtains of your deeds.  Of your good works.  Of your justifications.  Of your excuses.  Tear back the curtain and see, once and for all, who’s on the throne in your Holy of Holies.  Who it is that you struggle for.  Who it is that you sacrifice for.  Who it is that all of your work, all of your time, all of your money, all of your resources, relationships and worry, fear, anxiety, anger, passion, ambition is bent on pleasing.

I’ll wait.  Oh and don’t worry about disturbing God in His privacy back there.  He tore the veil when Jesus died, so I’m pretty sure you’ll be passing Him waiting on a park bench on the way up the steps.

“For there is no distinction, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Rom 3)

What lies are beneath?

“11 “Take care for yourself so that you not forget Yahweh your God by not keeping his commandments and his regulations and his statutes that I am commanding you today, 12 lest when you have eaten and you are satisfied and you have built good houses and you live in them, 13 and your herds and your flocks have multiplied, and you have accumulated silver and gold, and all that you have has multiplied, 14 then your heart becomes proud…” (Deut 8)

What is the idol of America?

“17 And you may think in your heart, ‘My strength and the might of my hand acquired this wealth for me.’”   

Independence.  Freedom.  Self-rule.  Self-reliance.  Individuality.  Self-esteem.  America doesn’t bless God, God blesses America!  We are taught from a young age whom we should worship; who deserves our praise and respect; whom we should admire; who, as someone on farcebook quoted Buddha today, “deserves your love and affection.” 

The self-made person.  You.  Who is America’s idol?  You.  The self.  We are the masters of our own destiny.  No one has a right to put laws on my body.  No one can tell me what to do.  I am free! 

I am.  My will be done.  Sound familiar?  If not, then you probably didn’t read my, “What lies beneath” post.

But what if you’re not a confident person?  What if your timid and frightened much of the time and in awe of such people but could never be one.  What if you don’t ever feel free?  What if all that American Pride talk makes you angry because you are a slave to the system?  A slave to some codependent relationship?  A victim of circumstances beyond your control?  What if your just happy going along with the flow and not being noticed?  The nail that sticks up is the nail that gets hammered.    You’d be perfectly happy and content to put in your forty and be left alone to tend your garden, raise your kids, build your train set, play your video games, watch tevee.  You’re a nice person.  You don’t impose your will on anyone.  You don’t demand the world bow to yours.  Chances are, you are the one doing all the bowing, eh?  What then justshane?  You’re not the one doing the “Lookit Me” lambada in the center of the gym floor, you’re doing the wallflower waltz over here in the corner, minding your own business, not hurting anybody.

Well, as they say in Jersey, “Lemme axe you a question.”  Just how bent do you get when something or someone cuts in on your waltz?  When someone disrupts your “me time.”  You see, structuring your life to avoid or manage the things you’re afraid of, conflict, pain, suffering, risk, is just trying to be king of a smaller country, one that doesn’t feel too big for you.  You’ve set your sights lower but you still answer to no one but yourself within that fief.  You are still trying only to please you.  Even if you are a people pleaser!  The people pleaser is submitting to things they may fear or loathe only to avoid something they fear and loathe even more: loneliness, conflict, lack of identity and to gain something they want more.  When people need us; like us; love us, we are validated.  Our existence has purpose.  We give to get something we want: approval, affection, inclusion, security.  I deserve this because I’ve done that.  So if someone denies me my “me time”, when someone denies me affection, when I get hurt instead of love, I am not getting something I’m OWED!  I have been wronged. This might explain the popularity of karmaic thinking.  The appeal is, everyone gets what they deserve.  They tell me you can identify your personal idols by asking yourself questions like, “What makes me angry?”  “What do I fear?”  “What do I spend money on?”  I say, these don’t identify idols; they identify your forms of worship of the true idol…

You.

I’m going to stop here today because I’m wondering, do you believe this?  Am I off base?  Am I stretching a point further than it can bear?  I’d really like to know where y’all are at on this point before I go on.

What lies beneath

“22 But Judah did evil in the eyes of Yahweh, and they annoyed him more than their fathers did with their sins that they had committed. 23 They also built for themselves high places and stone pillars and sacred poles on every high hill and under every green tree.” (1Kgs 14)

Do Americans have idols?  I know we have the teevee show.  The irony of that is thicker than Dr. Moriarty winking at Sherlock.  But do we have idols?  I know the vast majority of us claim to believe in God and a large number still count themselves as Christians.

But what do we worship?  Really?

“21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their reasoning, and their senseless hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God with the likeness of an image of mortal human beings and birds and quadrupeds and reptiles.

24 Therefore God gave them over in the desires of their hearts to immorality, that their bodies would be dishonored among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God with a lie, and worshiped and served the creation rather than the Creator, who is blessed for eternity. Amen.” (Rom 1)

Some have made the connection between addiction and idol worship.  If the worship of idols is the worship of demons (Deut 32, Rev 9) and the goal of demons is our utter destruction (Job, Luke 22, 1Pet 5) then how easy it is to see among the possessed?  Those who have been absorbed by what they once controlled.  Those who are mastered by a created thing, alcohol, drugs, sex, fame, greed, a hopeless relationship until it obliterates every last vestige of their humanity.  Like a train wreck in slow motion we can watch in horror as they come undone, piece by obvious piece.  But did these people really worship alcohol?  Did they really worship money?  Or was that only the means by which they worshiped?  Was that only the ceremony in the temple of their god?

In C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters, the devils muse how in days of old, they went around in more or less their true forms.  They could reveal their existence to man, maybe lie about their intentions but more or less play in plain sight.  But now, Screwtape chuckles, the greatest trick Satan ever played was convincing man he doesn’t exist.  The industrial revolution and the age of enlightenment killed not only God but Satan too.  There is no evil, only diseases to be cured.  Hitler and Stalin and Mao and serial killers are just sick.  There’s something wrong with them, a chemical imbalance perhaps.  Poor upbringing.  A traumatic childhood.  Maybe they were bullied.  There is no sin, only undesirable behaviors and emotional conditions to be treated.  The gang rape in India is only a sign of societal deficiencies.  The men involved were poorly educated in the value of womanhood and the sanctity of human life.

But if humans are so good by nature, why do we need so much education in basic human principles of decency and respect?  Why does all of our post apocalyptic fiction show men reverting to animals?  Why are we less disposed to do what is right when no one is watching?  Why does a crowd become a mob?  Why do ordinary people in mobs commit violence and theft?  Why do the strong prey upon the weak?  Why do women and children need protecting at all?

Demons may hide.  Sin may lurk invisible for long periods.  But idols, idols want a position of prominence.  Idols want to be worshiped.  Our idols are hidden in the best place to hide.  Plain sight.

What was the first sin?  Who was the first sinner?

“12 How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of dawn!


    You are cut down to the ground, conqueror of nations!

13 And you yourself said in your heart,

‘I will ascend to heaven;


    I will raise up my throne above the stars of God;


and I will sit on the mountain of assembly


    on the summit of Zaphon;

14 I will ascend to the high places of the clouds,


    I will make myself like the Most High.’” (Is 14)

Lucifer was the first one to close his fist and shake it at God.  To declare himself Satan, the Adversary.  The first one among creation to quit worshiping his Creator, to stop saying “Thy Will be done,” and first dare to utter, “My will be done!”  He declared himself “God” and as such he wanted to be worshiped.  Worshipers being in short supply and he not having the knack of creating, he became a thief and stole God’s worshipers, God’s children.  Just as God made us in His image Satan corrupted us to fit his own.

“4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You shall not surely die. 5 For God knows that on the day you both eat from it, then your eyes will be opened and you both shall be like gods, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and the tree was desirable to make one wise, then she took from its fruit and she ate.” (Gen 3)  When She saw.  When it delighted Her eyes.  It would make Her wise.  She decided.  She took.  She ate.  She gave it to her husband to make him like Her.

A Christian who has taken the next step, who has seen that not only is addiction an idol and idols demonic, will soon see they are addicted to sin itself.  They may not have the all consuming fire of alcoholism or greed destroying their lives but they see the little fires scattered here and there, a sharp tongue, impatience, people pleasing, religion.  If they make a point of trying to stamp these out, they will soon make it a career.  For these are not separate fires.  They are fumaroles.

Beneath the surface lies a magma pit waiting to erupt….